We thank you dear leader for your wonderful belated Christmas gift of the soon-to-be-implemented 3.9 % gasoline tax hike. This gift will quite nicely compliment the 4.5% Fed hike per gallon imposed to cover financing of the ethanol green 'force feed' program designed to reduce the life of our auto engines while reducing the effective horsepower as we patiently wait for corn and corn product prices to launch into high orbit.
You are lauded for your aptness as a most astute student of graft under the slickest of all mentors--your previous boss.
May your coffers continue to swell from such revenues so that you will be able to buy a real airplane like your Idol Nancy P. for your future jaunts rather than having to suffer the humiliation and degradation of flying on one paid for by illegal contributions.
Your loyal subjects
Carlton Melvin
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